Now most people do not want an ordinary life in which they do a job well, earn the respect of their collaborators and competitors, bring up a family and have friends. That's not enough any more, and I think that is absolutely tragic - and I'm not exaggerating - that people feel like a decent, ordinary, fun life is no longer enough.

What is absurd is not the teachings of the founders of religion, it's what followers subsequently make of it.

My views are heretical to people who believe in political correctness.

If I like chocolate it won't surprise you that I have a few chocolates in my fridge, but if you find out I've got 16 warehouses full of chocolate, you'd think I was insane. All these rich guys are insane, obsessive compulsive twits obsessed with money - money is all they think about - they're all nuts.

When I was in school, I was beaten every 30 minutes. It never did me any harm except for some psychological mal-adjustments and blurred vision.

I'm very odd 'cause I think there's more than just a materialist planet, a materialist, reductionist planet.

I think the hard thing for young comedians is that the majority of the young people in the audience out there don't have the wide range of references.