The real religion is about the understanding that if we can only still our egos for a few seconds, we might have a chance of experiencing something that is divine in nature. But in order to do that, we have to slice away at our egos and try to get them down to a manageable size, and then still work some practiced light meditation. So real religion is about reducing our egos, whereas all the churches are interested in is egotistical activities, like getting as many members and raising as much money and becoming as important and high-profile and influential as possible.

I learned a lot of things about literature talking to people at the publishing company. Did you know that about 90 percent of celebrity autobiographies are ghostwritten?

We don't know where we get our ideas from. What we do know is that we do not get them from our laptops.

I get bored easily. I've been bored most of my life.

Technology frightens me to death. It's designed by engineers to impress other engineers, and they always come with instruction booklets that are written by engineers for other engineers - which is why almost no technology ever works.

In Britain, girls seem to be either bright or attractive. In America, that's not the case. They're both.

I think the hard thing for young comedians is that the majority of the young people in the audience out there don't have the wide range of references.