If you want to know who your friends are, have a major failure.

It's a plastic surgeon you need, not a doctor

A wonderful thing about true laughter is that it just destroys any kind of system of dividing people.

I think the hard thing for young comedians is that the majority of the young people in the audience out there don't have the wide range of references.

I get bored easily. I've been bored most of my life.

As Daniel Levitin writes, our brain is a "giant pattern detector." If we read something that coincides with what we already believe we're more likely to give it credence, while the opposite is not true.

How to defend yourself against a banana