Either people walk round dressed as chickens or they listen to Beethoven.

Laughter is the best creative medicine.

Tension is wonderful for making people laugh.

Naturally, people's image is of a performer, but the reality of it is the writing for me has always been the most important thing and the most rewarding thing.

By watching the great, old comedians I picked up a few tricks about how to do physical comedy. And whenever I could learn something, I sort of added that to my repertoire.

If life were fair, Dan Quayle would be making a living asking 'Do you want fries with that?'

When I was in school, I was beaten every 30 minutes. It never did me any harm except for some psychological mal-adjustments and blurred vision.