Stand-up led to me doing solo shows, which led to me being offered my first broadcasting job, being a VJ.

You complain and demand zero compromise - so the GOP obstructs Obama so the economy doesn't improve - then you complain and demand even more zero compromise. Then you get to blame Obama for the slow recovery, which is sorta like John Wilkes Booth blaming Lincoln for missing the end of a play.

Can we please rename The Sandy Relief Bill to the Supplemental Iraq War Funding Bill so the GOP Congress can vote for it?

I've come to view Jesus much the way I view Elvis. I love the guy but the fan clubs really freak me out.

I was the biggest George Harrison fanatic in the world. He was raised Catholic; my parents are both ex-clergy, so I was raised Catholic, and I admired how he used his faith.

America doesn't have an abortion problem - it has an unwanted pregnancy problem, and an abortion symptom.

Nixon was a conservative who’s way more liberal than his party can admit, and Obama’s a liberal who’s way more conservative than his party can admit.