Talking to a drunk person was like talking to an extremely happy, severely brain-damaged three-year-old.
Peeing is like a good book in that it is very, very hard to stop once you start.
I didn't know what to say to her - I was caught in a love triangle with one dead side.
So she became impulsive, scared by her inaction into perpetual action.
Just spend a few more months playing video games. That hand-eye coordination will come in handy when you get to third base.
No headboards were broken.