Ben's tongue is like sunscreen...It's good for your health and should be applied liberally.

The Colonel explained to me that 1. this was Alaska's room, and that 2. she had a single room because the girl who was supposed to be her roommate got kicked out at the end of last year, and that 3. Alaska had cigarettes, although the Colonel neglected to ask whether 4. I smoked, which 5. I didn't.

The rules of capitalization are so unfair to words in the middle of a sentence.

We'd failed, maybe, but some mysteries aren't meant to be solved.

Every year, many, many stupid people graduate from college. And if they can do it, so can you.

Right, well, he'd been sick for a while and his nurse said to him, 'You seem to be feeling better this morning,' and Isben looked at her and said, 'On the contrary,' and then he died.

No," I said. And maybe it was only because Alaska couldn't hit the brakes and I couldn't hit the accelerator.