What you must understand about me is that I’m a deeply unhappy person.

If I ever end up being the kind of person who has one kid and seven bedrooms. Do me a favor and shoot me.

It seems to me that the great pleasure of human life is not in having an opinion, but rather in learning all the ways you are wrong, and all the nuances you failed to account for, and all the truths that turned out to be not as simple as you once believed. And it seems to me that one of the central pleasures of attending school is that you get to read with really well-informed people who can help welcome you into a complex world stuffed with rich and maddening ambiguity.

When you say nasty things about people, you should never say the true ones, because you can't really fully and honestly take those back.

I was thinking about this girl you love so much," she said, "And this place I love so much. And how that happens. How you can just fall into it.

The only thing worse than having a party that no one attends is having a party attended only by two vastly, deeply uninteresting people.

I hope we get pulled over, he says. I'd like to see how the cop responds to a black man wearing a Confederate T-shirt over a black dress.