For many years, people would say, "Only child? Must have been terrible," and I wanted to say, "You are mentally ill, because it was the greatest." You got all the attention. You never had to share anything. No one ever ate your food. No one ever took your toys. But the unintended consequence was that I didn't appreciate that being universally loved was not only not required for happiness, but also not possible.

There's a tradition in American fiction that is deadly serious and earnest - like the Steinbeckian social novel.

My candidacy is a compelling argument for my candidacy. I want to be President.

Any time you try to create an Internet meme, automatic fail. That's like the worst thing you can do.

There is a need for expertise, for real expertise. I'm not doing much to help that cause, but I think we can find the healthy balance between intellectualism and anti-intellectualism. Jocks and nerds may come together, I believe it.

You are only pretentious if you are not sincere.

A literary agent is nothing but a cheap salesman (or woman); while a writer is a cheap salesman (or woman) who also has to actually write the books.