I had inherited what my father called the art of the advocate, or the irritating habit of looking for the flaw in any argument.

All the flower children were as alike as a congress of accountants and about as interesting.

To escape jury duty in England, wear a bowler hat and carry a copy of the Daily telegraph.

It is desperately important to remember when enough is enough, when you've finished the scene.

We may not be the creme de la creme, but we are the creme de la scum.

The officers of the branch of the Force (the Obscene Publications Squad) have a discouraging club tie, on which a book is depicted being cut in half by a larger pair of scissors.

Dying is a matter of slapstick and pratfalls. The ageing process is not gradual or gentle. It rushes up, pushes you over and runs off laughing. No one should grow old who isn't ready to appear ridiculous.