I had inherited what my father called the art of the advocate, or the irritating habit of looking for the flaw in any argument.

I knew nothing about farce until I read Puce a l'Oreille, and had no idea what a deadly serious business it is.

No brilliance is needed in the law. Nothing but common sense, and relatively clean finger nails.

We may not be the creme de la creme, but we are the creme de la scum.

Loyalty to the school to which your parents pay to send you seemed to me like feeling loyalty to Selfridges.

On the three pigs he and his wife own: "We acquired the pigs last year. My wife was born on a pig farm and has always been very fond of pigs. Of course, they are for eating, which is why they are named Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner. You wouldn’t want to eat Rufus, Marcus and Esmeralda.

The only rule I have found to have any validity in writing is not to bore yourself.