I never turn on the crowd. Sometimes, you think it's a terrible show, and then afterward, sometimes people say they really liked it. So turning on the crowd is only going to alienate the few people who might like it.

I kind of thought, wouldn't it be funny to take a swing at being on the weird side of mainstream?

In terms of, like, instant relief, canceling plans is like heroin.

I wish I could go tell 12-year-old me like I don't worry that you just fainted in front of all the girls, one day you'll be able to make this into an episode of TV.

All my money is in a savings account. My dad has explained the stock market to me maybe 75 times. I still don't understand it.

Things don't exist until they exist.

I had a lot of fun writing things that died during dress rehearsal. Sometimes I remember the crazy ones that died even more fondly than the ones that did really well.