I never turn on the crowd. Sometimes, you think it's a terrible show, and then afterward, sometimes people say they really liked it. So turning on the crowd is only going to alienate the few people who might like it.

Excuse me: I am homeless. I am gay. I have AIDS. I'm new in town.

I'm a very straightforward person. But that's fine for a comedian. Because a lot of times you're talking about everyone else.

I definitely look like a toddler. I feel comfortable and I have a lot of fun out there [John Mulaney Show]. And if I were to be extremely egotistical, I'd say I got a tiny bit better.

Stand-up for me is just my opinions on things, so it wouldnt be as fun translated into a sketch. Nor would a sketch be as fun if it were me standing there saying it.

I kind of thought, wouldn't it be funny to take a swing at being on the weird side of mainstream?

Why do people shush animals? Theyve never spoken