I plan to join the 'SNL' band as a maraca player and stand behind saxophonist Lenny Pickett. That way they will at least cut to me before commercial breaks. I'll be sure to look right into camera.

Things have to be funny first, and if they want to have a point, that's awesome.

I stopped drinking when I was 23. I kind of started when I was 13, so it was a 10-year run. But I just became a bad, annoying drunk child, so when I stopped, I'd done a lot of things I wasn't proud of.

Why do people shush animals? Theyve never spoken

Having done stand-up on television and in stand-up specials for like Comedy Central, you learn quickly that for that type of performance you're playing to the camera.

All my money is in a savings account. My dad has explained the stock market to me maybe 75 times. I still don't understand it.

The more you do stuff, the better you get at dealing with how you still fail at it a lot of the time.