I must be the luckiest man in the world. Not only am I bisexual, I am also Welsh.

Here we are, we're alone in the universe, there's no God, it just seems that it all began by something as simple as sunlight striking on a piece of rock. And here we are. We've only got ourselves. Somehow, we've just got to make a go of it. We've only ourselves.

Go on - but don't think you can kill my confidence. I've had experts doing it for years.

The British public has always had an unerring taste for ungifted amateurs.

Laughter's the nearest we ever get, or should get, to sainthood. It's the state of grace that saves most of us from contempt.

Asking a writer what he thinks about criticism is like asking a lamppost what it feels about dogs.

It is easy to answer the ultimate questions - it saves you bothering with the immediate ones.