The British public has always had an unerring taste for ungifted amateurs.

The schoolteacher is certainly underpaid as a childminder, but ludicrously overpaid as an educator.

Here we are, we're alone in the universe, there's no God, it just seems that it all began by something as simple as sunlight striking on a piece of rock. And here we are. We've only got ourselves. Somehow, we've just got to make a go of it. We've only ourselves.

Oh heavens, how I long for a little ordinary human enthusiasm. Just enthusiasm - that's all. I want to hear a warm, thrilling voice cry out Hallelujah! Hallelujah! I'm alive!

The British public has always had an unerring taste for ungifted amateurs.

There's no such thing as failure - just waiting for success.

Go on - but don't think you can kill my confidence. I've had experts doing it for years.