Laughter's the nearest we ever get, or should get, to sainthood. It's the state of grace that saves most of us from contempt.

And even in the hatred of the majority, there's a kind of triumph because I know that, although they'd never admit it, they secretly respect me.

Here we are, we're alone in the universe, there's no God, it just seems that it all began by something as simple as sunlight striking on a piece of rock. And here we are. We've only got ourselves. Somehow, we've just got to make a go of it. We've only ourselves.

I never deliberately set out to shock, but when people don't walk out of my plays I think there is something wrong.

Asking a writer what he thinks about criticism is like asking a lamppost what it feels about dogs.

The whole point of a sacrifice is that you give up something you never really wanted in the first place. People are doing it around you all the time. They give up their careers, say -- or their beliefs -- or sex.

Laughter's the nearest we ever get, or should get, to sainthood. It's the state of grace that saves most of us from contempt.