Ever feel like killing somebody just to see if you could get away with it? Sure, you have. Everybody has little things that get on their nerves.

[My catholic education] sticked with me. It caused the rage I had to make 'Pink Flamingos.'

I used to joke that I was trying to sell out, and nobody would buy me.

I could never kill myself. I approve of suicide if you have horrible health. Otherwise it's the ultimate hissy fit.

Aren't maids the ultimate art critics?

I think it's all independent films. There aren't any! If they were looking for me when I was making Polyester, then it'd be perfect, but they're not. I'm not looking for that. TV is much bigger and better now; far more people see it.

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday because I don't have to do anything except bring wine and go to my sister's all day and go to the movies with the family. So, actually, Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday, but there's not much comedy material on Thanksgiving. Melatonin really isn't that funny.