Never marry a girl named 'Marie' who used to be known as 'Murray'.

Ronald Reagan just signed the new tax law. But I think he was in Hollywood too long. He signed it, 'Best wishes, Ronald Reagan.'

The vast majority of us don't want to face the fact that we're in the middle of a sweeping social revolution. In sex. In spiritual values. In opposition to wars no one wants. In opposition to government big-brotherhood. In civil rights. In basic human goals. They're all facets of a general upheaval.

I am one of the lucky people in the world; I found something I always wanted to do, and I have enjoyed every single minute of it.

I hear that whenever someone in the White House tells a lie, Nixon gets a royalty.

There's a lot of hypocrisy in audiences. I'd never dream of telling even on a nightclub stage, let alone my show, some of the jokes that are told in a lot of the living rooms from which we get those letters!

Air Canada. That's a good name for a Canadian airline.