Never use a big word when a little filthy one will do.

Happiness is seeing the muscular lifeguard all the girls were admiring leave the beach hand in hand with another muscular lifeguard.

There are very few Japanese Jews. As a result, there is no Japanese word for Alan King.

May you have the income of a Republican and the sex life of a Democrat!

I hear that whenever someone in the White House tells a lie, Nixon gets a royalty.

Never continue in a job you don't enjoy. If you're happy in what you're doing, you'll like yourself, you'll have inner peace. And if you have that, along with physical health, you will have had more success than you could possibly have imagined.

The only thing money gives you is the freedom of not worrying about money.