Never use a big word when a little filthy one will do.

In 1932, lame duck president Herbert Hoover was so desperate to remain in the White House that he dressed up as Eleanor Roosevelt. When FDR discovered the hoax in 1936, the two men decided to stay together for the sake of the children.

For days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow, but phone calls taper off.

Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn't grow up can be vice president.

Egyptian President Sadat had a belly dancer entertain President Nixon at a state dinner. Mr. Nixon was really impressed. He hadn't seen contortions like that since Rose Mary Woods.

Never use a big word when a little filthy one will do.

A two-pound turkey and a fifty-pound cranberry-that's Thanksgiving dinner at Three Mile Island.