A two-pound turkey and a fifty-pound cranberry-that's Thanksgiving dinner at Three Mile Island.

The good news is that the president gets another chance. The bad news is that he'll be two weeks older.

Happiness is being stuck in an elevator and discovering the ravishing blonde with you is a liquor salesman with a case of samples.

That would have been a great ticket, Reagan and Ford - an actor and a stuntman.

Entertainment is like any other major industry; it's cold, big business. The business end wants to know one thing: Can you do the job? If you can, you're in, you're made; if you can't, you're out.

Ronald Reagan just signed the new tax law. But I think he was in Hollywood too long. He signed it, 'Best wishes, Ronald Reagan.'

The Champagne they have stored is getting more valuable every year.