Never use a big word when a little filthy one will do.
My success just evolved from working hard at the business at hand each day.
I know you've been married to the same woman for 69 years. That is marvelous. It must be very inexpensive.
Never ask your wife if she still hears from her old pimp.
I get sick of that old rationalization, "We're staying together because of the children." Kids couldn't be more miserable living with parents who can't stand each other. They're far better off if there's an honest, clean divorce.
Last night, it was so cold, the flashers in New York were only describing themselves.