I love the tabloids except for when I'm in 'em. Especially with the stuff they wrote about Jessica and I - it's obviously not true.

Suffering will get you great footage. I don't know about closer to God. Although there have been times when I've suffered to the point where I think I might be about to meet him.

But I can still lick the spoon!

You can tell it's good if you light it and a blue flame comes up; that means it's good moonshine and it won't make you go blind.

I'm so uncoordinated, I can't really do that much, so my specialty is standing in one spot or holding on to something, like an exploding rocket or a jetski.

I have a full grown, semi-nude man bound with duct tape in my truck and I was trying to get out to the desert to bury him. How do I get to 5 South?

If someone hits me I consider it a challenge.