You can tell it's good if you light it and a blue flame comes up; that means it's good moonshine and it won't make you go blind.

I'm so uncoordinated, I can't really do that much, so my specialty is standing in one spot or holding on to something, like an exploding rocket or a jetski.

I feel like my eyes have gonorrhea.

I'm just basking in the glory.

I actually got stabbed at my friend's bachelor party. In real life.

I just love that spirit that makes people do things that they probably shouldn't.

I don't care what other people think.