I've got too much respect for stand-ups to call myself one.

I am a big fan of smelly cheeses but the rest of the family don't seem to be particularly keen on them.

It is easy for me to love myself, but for ladies to do it is another question altogether.

I used to be good with kids, but as I get older, I'm grumpy and terrible with them. As for doing a gig at a 6-year old's birthday party, you couldn't pay me enough.

Class still matters in Britain today.

You can't be a proper comic unless you've been out on stage and felt the fear.

I've got my finger in a lot of pies.