I avoid any kind of organised trips as that's one of my bugbears.

Comedy's so subjective, and if someone comes to watch, doesn't get it, doesn't find it funny, then fine.

My forte is playing drunks down the ages. When my agent rings me about a role, I don't ask what the part is, but what century it's in.

I had a massive amount of self-belief when I did stand-up.

Had I become a priest, the sermons would've been electric!

I love the way my weight fluctuates in the newspapers. It was 18 stone and then people look at a bad picture of me and add a few more stone on. I think the highest was 22 stone.

I think if you're at the point where you're popular enough to sell your wedding photos to OK! Magazine then you don't need the money.