I've always been looking for other people's approval.

I always feel like an interloper when I do serious drama. It's my own paranoia.

With stand-up you've just got that one chance. Audiences can be quite fickle.

I trained to be a priest - started to. I went to seminary school when I was 11. I wanted to be a priest, but when they told me I could never have sex, not even on my birthday, I changed my mind.

You can sway an audience if you win the women over. The gentlemen will follow 'cause they can be so foolish like that at times, they are easily led.

When I wasn't as attractive as I am now, I suffered at the hands of cruel children and their taunts until I realised that confidence and a bit of aesthetic care can overcome that.

Baldness is visually enough of a stigma as it is without a big sweaty bloke on stage pointing it out.