I think it sort of dawns on you that if you're not gigging constantly you're not actually relevant. You may be relevant to a different part of the media now, to television commissioners and editors, but to a young live-comedy audience you're not, really.

You can't be a proper comic unless you've been out on stage and felt the fear.

I used to attract a lot of feeders. I'd be quite happy to be locked in someone's flat and fed liquidised burgers.

I've got too much respect for stand-ups to call myself one.

Up North you are holding your own. Everyone considers themselves a comedian.

When I wasn't as attractive as I am now, I suffered at the hands of cruel children and their taunts until I realised that confidence and a bit of aesthetic care can overcome that.

You don't want to be flattered and become big-headed by getting awards. But, well, I am.