My first holiday to San Francisco in 1998-99 was supposed to be a two-week vacation but I ended up staying five weeks and nearly didn't come home.

For the greater good, I thought I should be a spiritual leader for people for some reason.

You can't be a proper comic unless you've been out on stage and felt the fear.

I think it sort of dawns on you that if you're not gigging constantly you're not actually relevant. You may be relevant to a different part of the media now, to television commissioners and editors, but to a young live-comedy audience you're not, really.

I believe that Britain is becoming more class-conscious, and I quake at the very idea of Old Etonians ruling the world again.

I've got little ankles and a bit of a belly, so it makes me look rather an egg on legs.

I've got too much respect for stand-ups to call myself one.