I love paying tax so much, the sight of a gritter lorry gives me an erection.

I don't mean to hate people, I just get forced into it.

It is so much easier to grieve for the dead than to care for the living. At least in death we are all perfect.

There is simply too much to be done for us all to go round 'enjoying ourselves.' When the world is perfect, then we can all sit down and eat jelly beans, but for now the fact that things are going well for you just means that you are in a position to alleviate someone else's suffering for a while.

Why do fools fall in love? I'll tell you why, because everybody else has simply got too much else to do.

I refuse to believe that clubbing is how people are supposed to meet to establish relationships on a level for beyond what we consider to be a norm in modern society.

Anyone who tells you that it is better to have loved and lost that to never loved at all has never done both.