I'm thrilled to be asked to host the Academy Awards for the second time because, as they say, the third time's a charm.

As an adolescent, Vonnegut made my life bearable.

You need to take a long, hard look in the mirror and not come away thinking, "Hey, there's something wrong with this mirror."

No one is better at not beating America than England.

While opponents label (Howard) Dean a throwback liberal, The New York Times recently noted that as governor, Dean cut income taxes, reformed welfare and balanced Vermont's budget - all traditionally conservative policies. Dean also received an 'A' rating from the National Rifle Association, which I think you can't get unless you've killed a guy.

War that hasn't affected us here, in the way that you would imagine a five-year war would affect a country.

This is what happens when you don't let gays marry; they start designing clothes out of spite.