Fox opposes a Syria peace plan because its modus operandi is to foment dissent in the form of a relentless and irrational contrarianism to Barack Obama and all things Democratic, to advance its ultimate objective of creating a deliberately misinformed body politic whose fear, anger, mistrust, and discontent is the manna upon which it sustains its parasitic succubus-like existence.

America has had to deal with eccentric dictators in the past: Idi Amin, Muammar Qaddafi, Ming the Merciless... but now the security of the world is threatened by Kim Jong-il, a nerdy, pompadoured, platform shoe-wearer who looks like something you'd put on the end of your child's pencil.

Republicans are no longer allowed to say that people are rich. You have to refer to them as "job creator." You can't even use the word rich. You have to say, "This chocolate cake is so moist and job creator."

If you don't get it right with your first family, you can always do it again with another.

The important thing is, that I guess I don't spend any time thinking about what I am or what we do means. I spend my time doing it.

By the way, when you finish the bottle of Crown Royal, you can still use the pouch to hold your broken dreams.

The Westboro Baptist Church is no more a church than Church's Fried Chicken is a church.