I never thought I'd say this, but I miss voter fraud.

Give me back the $800 billion for the Iraq war and children's television PBS is on the house.

Ralph Nader choose the man with whom to share the responsibility of running a distant third, California activist Peter Camejo. You may remember that Camejo ran for president in 1976 on the Socialist Workers Party ticket. Actually, you might only remember that if you run a lesbian, vegetarian, bookstore.

Congress is the Justin Bieber of our government

If the guy in front of you at the polls has arm swords, you might want to considering filling out an absentee ballot.

61% of graduating teens have had sex, 37% will eventually have sex, and 2% become statisticians.

Thou shall not kill. Thou shall not commit adultery. Don't eat pork. I'm sorry, what was that last one?? Don't eat pork. God has spoken. Is that the word of God or is that pigs trying to outsmart everybody?