I never thought I'd say this, but I miss voter fraud.

The problem with the Tea Party is they're all ignorant hillbillies who drink moonshine and ride around on mules. And they believe in stereotypes too.

[Hugh Jackman is] an Adamantium-laced Fred Astaire.

The American people, or at least the ones that I get on the subway with - they know there's a real threat out there. They felt like Iraq lessened our ability to fight that threat.

Nathan Lane's Bus of Broadway Fun will be leaving shortly.

What are you so mad about? That we still have a government? We still have “traffic lights.” We’re sorry. The government’s not perfect, but some people wish it was better, not gone.

Poor Al Gore, global warming completely debunked, via the very Internet you invented.