Thou shall not kill. Thou shall not commit adultery. Don't eat pork. I'm sorry, what was that last one?? Don't eat pork. God has spoken. Is that the word of God or is that pigs trying to outsmart everybody?

A joke is a joke. There's an expression - I don't know if you have it - that's 'adding insult to injury.'

How far back to the elementary school core curriculum do we have to go to get someone on the House Committee on Science, Space and Technology caught up?

Some people look at a glass and see it as half-full. Others look at a glass and call it a dragon.

If you try to hit a grand slam, you’re going to strike out.

You know, in Saudi Arabia, you're innocent until proven Jewish. Female. Guilty! They're guilty!

If the world does need to repopulate at some point, the announcing team of Rob Lowe and Sofia Vergara, I think, would make very pleasant children.