When you think about it, Alaska is also near the North Pole, so she must also be friends with Santa.

[Doogal] wasn't even animated. It was still and the audience had to move.

Doing stand-up comedy is in the middle of a traffic jam getting everybody moving again.

I don't want to die before my parents die, especially my mother. Because I think that's tragic. Because I don't want her to get the chance to pick out what I'm going to wear for eternity.

Sarah Palin has been tagged and released back into the wild.

Spain's new Prime Minister Jose Luis Rodriguez Zapatero announced he will soon call back Spain's 1300 troops from Iraq - meaning the coalition of the willing is fast turning into a duet of the stubborn.

The night I turned twenty-two, I drank a shot for every year. I was so drunk, I'd just walk up to people in the bar and hit them in the balls. My friends drove me home and left me propped up on the couch holding a bucket. I woke up with vomit all over me. The bucket was clean as a whistle.