Isn't that what you really want in a jean? The ability to kick people in the face in them? I don't wanna have to go home and change into shorts.
Jon StewartI'm thrilled to be asked to host the Academy Awards for the second time because, as they say, the third time's a charm.
Jon StewartReally, an historic night last night. You may have heard, Barack Obama will be the first black president of the United States of America. ... Obama is also the first Democrat to receive more than 50 percent of the vote since Jimmy Carter, the first senator to be elected since Jack Kennedy, the first Muslim to be ... I said too much.
Jon StewartYou can have all the muskets you want! You can even have assault muskets!...Their (the NRA's) paranoid fear of a possible dystopic future prevents us from addressing our actual dystopic present. We can't even begin to address 30,000 gun deaths that are actually, in reality, happening in this country every year because a few of us must remain vigilant against the rise of an imaginary Hitler.
Jon Stewart