Honestly, folks, I think my brain is broken.

What's with the poverty Tourette's? Why do these two think we need a hobo for president?

Apparently the only thing worse than a terrorist attack, is a gay man stopping it!

Usually when Obama says, 'Let me be clear,' he's about to get into some very unclear sh*t.

Yon Kippur. Greatest Jewish holiday ever. The Jewish day of attonement. You don't ear for one day, all your sins for the year are wiped clean. Beat that with your little Lent. What is Lent? Forty days of absolution. Forty days to one day. Even in sin you're paying retail.

How do you know what is the right path to choose to get the result that you desire? The honest answer is this: You won't. And accepting that greatly eases the anxiety of your life experience.

The last thing we'll hear is some scientist saying 'It works!'