But that hair? That is comedy entrapment. People are not attacking your hair, they are defending themselves from something that appears like it's about to attack them.

Megachurches. I can't be the only one frightened when our houses of worship sound like they could take on Godzilla.

I don't know how people feel,that's the beauty of TV, is they can see us, but we can't see them.

Fire up your heart for the wind is getting cold, now it always gets cold for the riders of the night. When you carry that dream when you know what lonesome is looking for a home like a bird in flight.

There's always anxiety when you start a new job, you're the one guy who doesn't know where the ketchup is.

There's nothing like a shipwreck to spark the imagination of everyone who was not on that specific ship.

So Fox News is the voice of America and Obama is Stalin? Oh my God! I guess that makes me Yakov Smirnoff.