Everyone knows if a Republican comes out of the closet and sees a gay shadow, it means six more years of a Democratic administration.

In what is perhaps the strangest turn in the President's efforts to rally support, he agreed that Iraq is just like Vietnam, but in a good way.

Parenthood is an amazing opportunity to be able to ruin someone from scratch.

Putting the 10 commandments up to prevent crime is like putting 'Employees must wash hands' up to keep the piss out of your burger.

Senator John McCain, who spent over five years in a Vietnamese POW camp, publicly releases 1,000 pages of medical records. Now people are left with only open nagging questions: what kind of freak has 1,000 pages of medical records?

What you do for Jewish New Year is you go down to Times Square. It's a lot quieter than the regular New Year. It's just a few Jews walking around going, "sup?"

[Doogal] wasn't even animated. It was still and the audience had to move.