You know, in Saudi Arabia, you're innocent until proven Jewish. Female. Guilty! They're guilty!

Child: Why on this night do we eat Hot Fudge Sundaes? Adult: To remind us that being Jewish is like having your birthday every day!! Plus they're delicious!

You're your own play.

How refreshing. A suspect beaten up BEFORE the LAPD showed up.

Republicans are no longer allowed to say that people are rich. You have to refer to them as "job creator." You can't even use the word rich. You have to say, "This chocolate cake is so moist and job creator."

The Oscars is the one night of the year when you can see all your favorite stars without having to donate any money to the Democratic Party

But that hair? That is comedy entrapment. People are not attacking your hair, they are defending themselves from something that appears like it's about to attack them.