You know, in Saudi Arabia, you're innocent until proven Jewish. Female. Guilty! They're guilty!

President Bush's approval ratings have taken somewhat of a dive. A senior slump, if you will. Leading President Bush to one conclusion: He is the only one who realizes what a great job he's being doing.

If you smell something, say something.

Iran, Ireland, Israel. That's three countries, four religions that HATE each other. Way to go, 'I'.

[President Bush] recently challenged Iraqi soldiers still fighting U.S. troops like so: ... 'My answer is bring 'em on.' For those of you who may be criticizing Bush for acting like a movie cowboy, let me remind you. He's actually acting more like a movie cheerleader.

9/11 references are like Lay's potato chips...no Congress can make just one.

We don't consider ourselves equal opportunity anythings, because that's not - you know, that's the beauty of fake journalism. We don't have to - we travel in fake ethics.