At first the difference will be in whatever atmosphere I bring into it. It's not going to be like, 'I really want to do The Daily Show and I'd love to turn it into an abstract musical.' I like the format and the chance to satirize the news.

Many of our soldiers are stationed at Camp Coyote just south of the Iraqi border. This is how you know we have a strong army, when you can actually tell your enemy exactly where your camp is and what its name is.

What would Jesus, or any human being who isn't an asshole, do?

I want to look back on my career and be proud of the work, and be proud that I tried everything.

There's nothing like a shipwreck to spark the imagination of everyone who was not on that specific ship.

Being a superpower is like being a Santa Claus that everyone hates.

Yes! We finally captured Martha Stewart. You know, with all the massive and almost completely unpunished fraud perpetrated on the public by companies like Enron, Global Crossing, and Tyco we finally got the ring leader. Maybe now we can lower the nation's terror alert to periwinkle.