Megachurches. I can't be the only one frightened when our houses of worship sound like they could take on Godzilla.

People, if you can't get through the puns, I can't give you the good stuff.

I'm not trying to be modest of self-deprecating or in any way trying to do that.

[Hugh Jackman is] an Adamantium-laced Fred Astaire.

I want a sandwich named after me.

I'm thrilled to be asked to host the Academy Awards for the second time because, as they say, the third time's a charm.

Here's the thing about global warming that I didn't realize: it would all happen at once.