Megachurches. I can't be the only one frightened when our houses of worship sound like they could take on Godzilla.

If you try to hit a grand slam, you’re going to strike out.

I'm doing everything I can to sabotage my career. It's a little thing called "fear of success".

Putting the 10 commandments up to prevent crime is like putting 'Employees must wash hands' up to keep the piss out of your burger.

Condoleezza Rice was confirmed by a vote of 85, 13, despite a contentious but futile protest vote by democrats. By the way, for a fun second term drinking game, chug a beer every time you hear the phrase 'contentious but futile protest vote by democrats.' By the time Jeb Bush is elected, you'll be so wasted you won't even notice the war in Syria.

There's nothing like a shipwreck to spark the imagination of everyone who was not on that specific ship.

Here's what I realized about the yam - it's the same colour as a Nerf ball. You may be wondering: 'Is he saying he ate a Nerf ball?'.