President Bush's approval ratings have taken somewhat of a dive. A senior slump, if you will. Leading President Bush to one conclusion: He is the only one who realizes what a great job he's being doing.

President Bush announced we're going to Mars, which means he's given up on Earth.

Don't censor yourself to comfort their ignorance.

The value of holding a grudge. And to always refer to my father sarcastically as Mr. Wonderful.

By the way, when you finish the bottle of Crown Royal, you can still use the pouch to hold your broken dreams.

The President says, "We are in the fight for a way of life. This is the greatest battle of our generation, and of the generations to come."

Some people have criticized the United States and the United States military for guarding oil fields and not guarding the Iraqi National Museum which had priceless antiquities in it. They say that this shows a fundamental lack of respect for Iraqi history. I want to remind those people of this: The oldest relics in the museum, 5,000 or 6,000 years old. That oil is 65 million years old. You had to guard that. ... Those antiquities will only last another 5,000 or 6,000 years. When we burn that oil, those fumes will linger long after.