People! Take to the streets and scream 'BE REASONABLE!'

Bush's popularity is at 40% in South America? He could be their president!

Pigmentation was a quick and convenient way of judging a person. One of us, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., once proposed we instead judge people by the content of their character. He was shot.

Typically, when you're with your friends, premises are coming up left and right. But when you're on stage, you must create the premise. So you have to create the premise, paint the picture and then deliver the punch line.

Love what you do. Get good at it. Competence is a rare commodity in this day and age. And let the chips fall where they may.

Don't you dare besmirch the name of Congress. They are patriotic Americans trying to dress and feed themselves.

In Iraq, the U.S. military's whack-a-mole approach to killing Saddam Hussein may have finally paid off. The bombs destroyed the area and left behind a 60-foot crater, or as coalition forces prefer to call it: a freedom hole.