I kid because I'm on basic cable.

Clearly, I'm way older than everyone.

I really think [the Bush Administration]'s foreign policy agenda is to spread irony through the world.

The more you delve into science, the more it appears to rely on faith.

If the president is the head of the American body politic, Congress is its gastrointestinal tract. Its vast and convoluted inner workings may be mysterious and unpleasant, but in the end they excrete a great deal of material whose successful passage is crucial to our nation's survival. This is Congress's duty.

Democrats - always standing up for what they later realize they should have believed in.

The (Supreme Court) ruling that anyone who's arrested -- even accidentally -- can be strip-searched was decided five to four, with the votes for the searches coming from the Court's five conservatives. You know -- the 'defending personal liberty' guys. Which is weird because I'm not a constitutional scholar, but I'm willing to bet Big Government feels it's biggest when it's inside your anus.