There is no such thing as an impartial jury because there are no impartial people. There are people that argue on the web for hours about who their favorite character on 'Friends' is.

No health care for poor kids? You know, I thought something like that was only done by cartoon villains. You're (Pres. Bush) slowly going from being Nixon to Mr. Burns.

Donald Rumsfeld. Love him or hate him, you've gotta admit: a lot of people hate him.

Remember that guy who got gored by a bull and the bull pulled his underwear off and he had to run around the ring naked? If that footage comes out, I'll run that.

Yon Kippur. Greatest Jewish holiday ever. The Jewish day of attonement. You don't ear for one day, all your sins for the year are wiped clean. Beat that with your little Lent. What is Lent? Forty days of absolution. Forty days to one day. Even in sin you're paying retail.

And try as I might, I am having difficulty giving a f**k.

President Bush's approval ratings have taken somewhat of a dive. A senior slump, if you will. Leading President Bush to one conclusion: He is the only one who realizes what a great job he's being doing.