There is no such thing as an impartial jury because there are no impartial people. There are people that argue on the web for hours about who their favorite character on 'Friends' is.

The Rapture: The ultimate Republican back-up plan.

There's nothing like a shipwreck to spark the imagination of everyone who was not on that specific ship.

Hopefully the only things off-limits are crummy jokes, but being a standup comedian, I know that's not always the case... You know it when you have to take a shower afterward.

But that hair? That is comedy entrapment. People are not attacking your hair, they are defending themselves from something that appears like it's about to attack them.

What I like to do is come in, write the entire program and treat my staff to hot stone massages.

I'm too short to host a late-night talk show. It's like the bar at an amusement-park ride. You have to be six foot two or over.