The value of holding a grudge. And to always refer to my father sarcastically as Mr. Wonderful.

War that hasn't affected us here, in the way that you would imagine a five-year war would affect a country.

The government should stop meddling in the business of the farmers, who would actually still be living ina desert if not for government meddling.

I mean, I'm not hoping for the apes and the monolith. I'm hoping for controlled chaos to assist us.

Everyone just needs to get over themselves.

It's great having Bruce Springsteen on my show. We have so much in common! We're both from New Jersey, just from different neighborhoods. Sort of like how Martin Luther King and Margaret Mitchell both came from Atlanta. But from different neighborhoods.

I don't have a sort of Amway-esque chart up on my refrigerator or anything.