[Doogal] wasn't even animated. It was still and the audience had to move.

Why is it that if you take advantage of a corporate tax break you're a smart businessman, but if you take advantage of something so you don't go hungry, you're a moocher?

[John McCain] didn't believe me. I think anybody who's been in a POW camp for five years can - take eight minutes on The Daily Show.

Is listening to Pink Floyd in the dark a medical condition?

The United States Central Command of the Armed Forces has asked Geraldo Rivera to leave Iraq. It should also be noted that the only three other people that the U.S. military has asked to leave Iraq are Saddam Hussein and his two sons.

You know, in Saudi Arabia, you're innocent until proven Jewish. Female. Guilty! They're guilty!

I like not to be good at anything, so I keep hopping around.