Reform Jews are the children of Conservative Jews, or as they are sometimes known, Christians with curlier hair.

If you try to hit a grand slam, you’re going to strike out.

I have not moved out of the comedian's box into the news box. The news box is moving towards me.

No matter what your race, creed or sexual preference, there is a word that people use to describe you that is very nasty. It's what we all have in common. That, and masturbation.

Our culture is just a series of checks and balances. The whole idea that we're in a battle between tyranny and freedom - it's a series of pendulum swings.

I think people are used to people in show business having a lot of hubris. I think I have a normal amount of self-loathing but because I'm in show business it's considered self-deprecation. In normal life I would just be considered your average neurotic.

That's the Senate Ethics Committee, an oxymoron since 1973.