You can use your idealism to further your aims, if you realize that nothing is Nirvana, nothing is perfect.

Typically, when you're with your friends, premises are coming up left and right. But when you're on stage, you must create the premise. So you have to create the premise, paint the picture and then deliver the punch line.

Cause if there's one thing Islamic terrorists don't have is....(seriously thinking about it)....%#@&!

Bill Russell, a famous philosopher from Boston Celtics once "When things go bad, things go bad." The [Iraq] war was terribly mismanaged-it was terribly mismanaged.

Do you know what writing a book is? It's sitting alone in a room for weeks without making contact with another human. I felt like Howard Hughes.

I like a lot of wheels. If I could have eight wheels, I would.

I’m not going to censor myself to comfort your ignorance