California is choosing between the lesser of, uh, 300 evils.

I've been to Canada, and I've always gotten the impression that I could take the country over in about two days.

And try as I might, I am having difficulty giving a f**k.

Much of John Kerry's recent surge has come at the expense of Howard Dean. The situation reflected in his hot new bumper sticker, 'Dated Dean, Married Kerry.' It's cute and a lot more tasteful than the alternative version, 'Dated Dean, Married Kerry, Finger-Banged Kucinich.'

In South Carolina, Senator John Edwards won handily, fulfilling his promise to win every state he was born in.

The government should stop meddling in the business of the farmers, who would actually still be living ina desert if not for government meddling.

No matter what your race, creed or sexual preference, there is a word that people use to describe you that is very nasty. It's what we all have in common. That, and masturbation.