If the guy in front of you at the polls has arm swords, you might want to considering filling out an absentee ballot.

If you don't stick to your values when they're being tested, they're not values: they're hobbies.

I have complete faith in the continued absurdity of whatever’s going on.

Whenever you take over something that is popular and has a fanatical following that loves it, you're never going to please everyone. The trick is to have enough wherewithal to follow through with what you want to do with it and give it time to evolve.

Love what you do. Get good at it. Competence is a rare commodity in this day and age. And let the chips fall where they may.

Some people have criticized the United States and the United States military for guarding oil fields and not guarding the Iraqi National Museum which had priceless antiquities in it. They say that this shows a fundamental lack of respect for Iraqi history. I want to remind those people of this: The oldest relics in the museum, 5,000 or 6,000 years old. That oil is 65 million years old. You had to guard that. ... Those antiquities will only last another 5,000 or 6,000 years. When we burn that oil, those fumes will linger long after.

Don't you dare besmirch the name of Congress. They are patriotic Americans trying to dress and feed themselves.