How refreshing. A suspect beaten up BEFORE the LAPD showed up.

The beautiful thing about faking a news show is the topicality is delayed.

The best way to describe my ability was to say that after the game the other kids would say to me, 'Way to try!'

Donald Rumsfeld. Love him or hate him, you've gotta admit: a lot of people hate him.

There are a hell of a lot of jobs that are scarier than live comedy. Like standing in the operating room when a guy's heart stops, and you're the one who has to fix it!

Sitting around with funny people, banging out jokes and creating a television show. I have no hobbies, no outside interests. I'm fine with spending 14 hours a day putting a show together with tape and string.

In Iraq, the U.S. military's whack-a-mole approach to killing Saddam Hussein may have finally paid off. The bombs destroyed the area and left behind a 60-foot crater, or as coalition forces prefer to call it: a freedom hole.